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Stupid Llama Song

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Top Rated Jokes

Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replied, "I think you'd have to pet him first

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The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling.

"CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"

The wife was very upset, "What is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"

The husband calmly replied, "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."

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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, " I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on. " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower " Who was that? "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?”

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Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Hosni Mubarak died and went all to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how
everybody is doing there....
she called and talked for about 5 minutes...then she said: well, devil, > >how
much do I owe you????
the devil goes: five million dollars... five million dollars!!!
she made him a check and went to sit back on her chair....> > >
George Bush was soo jealous, he starts screamig, me too I wanna call > the United States,
I wanna see how everybody is doing too...he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he
said: well, devil how much do I owe you???? the devil goes: ten million dollars.....
ten million dollars!!!!!! he made him a check and went to sit back on his chair.....
Hosni Mubarak was extremely soooo jealous too...he starts screaming, I wanna call Egypt too,
I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna > > > talk to the ministers, I wanna talk to
everybody.....he called Egypt and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and talking
and talking....then he said:
well, devil how much do I owe you???? the devil goes: one dollar.....
only one dollar!!!!!
The devil goes: well, from hell to hell it's local

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What do Kevin Federline and Iowa have in common?

They both have corn rows and suck!

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